


Fragments of a lifetime

by 10ismydoctor



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7562506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10ismydoctor/pseuds/10ismydoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because sometimes, being in love is not enough to be happy. (Set in a universe where CoE didn't happened)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I just wanted to let you know that I've written all the chapters to this story already so you can be sure it's not gonna be completed!

**_London, 2070_ **

 

Jack had visited his fair share of hospitals during his long life. This one wasn't particularly different from the others. Same white walls, same long corridors, same preoccupied people walking around. And the same smell. The smell of sickness, of death. That part of the human experience Jack couldn't share. All he could be was a spectator.

 

That was why he was there. To see someone die. To hold someone's hand while they exhaled their last breath. Again. He should be used to this by now, and in some way he was.

 

But this time was different. The person dying was someone he loved deeply, someone he had love for over sixty years and who had broke his unbreakable heart.

 

He found the door he was looking for. He hesitated a moment before opening it, his heart ponding in his chest. He was there to meet a ghost. The ghost of a life that could have been but never was. He wonder if he was doing the right thing. Maybe he should have just walked away. But he couldn't. Not again. Not this time.

 

He took a breath, as if he was about to go underwater, and walked in. His heart sank.

 

The old man was asleep, but not peaceful. It was as if every breath was hurting him, as if he was fighting through every simple sip of air.

 

Jack stood at the foot of the bed, unable to take a closer look. The old man was dying of pneumonia. Something hard to fight when you're 87 years old.

 

Jack was sure the old man could see the irony in this, dying in the most mundane of ways after all he had been through. Life was a curious thing, for sure.

 

Jack knew the man didn't want him to see him like this. He had made a very hard choice, a long time ago, to make sure of that. But Jack didn't care. This was worth breaking a promise.

 

He finally managed to move. Two steps. They seemed like a thousand. He took the old man's hand. The same hand he had hold thousands, maybe millions of times. Now it was wrinkled, weak, full of black spots. Jack wanted to cry, but he couldn't. The tears where blocked by a knot in his throat.

 

He looked at his face. After all this time, he could have recognize him anywhere. His nose was exactly the same. He smiled, remembering how he blushed every time Jack told him how cute his nose was.

 

The man opened his eyes, and Jack felt a knife twisting in his stomach. Those eyes were still exactly the same. Big, blue, bright, just as they were when he wasn't much more than a boy, the first time they met.

 

Jack never thought he would have seen those eyes again, if not in his dreams. He knew the man had recognized him. He squeezed his hand a bit tighter.

 

“Long time no see, Ianto Jones.”

 


	2. Cardiff, 2011

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first step toward a new life.

Cardiff, 2011

“I'm thinking about moving out,” Ianto said, interrupting the long comfortable silence that filled the bedroom, “I need a bigger place.”

It was late, but neither of them was sleeping. Ianto was lying on his back, reading one of his huge history volumes, while Jack was filling up the daily Torchwood notes using Ianto's back as a desk. 

“Well, that's a shame,” Jack said, planting a kiss on the back of his neck, “I'm quite fond of this little apartment.”

They had made a lot of memories there in the past few years. It was the closest thing Jack had to a home. 

“I know, me too,” Ianto said with a smile, “but don't you think we would be more comfortable in a bigger place?”

“We?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Realizing what he had just said, Ianto sat up abruptly, sending Jack's notes flying on the floor. 

“Hey, careful there!” Jack was trying to hold in a laugh. 

“Sorry,” Ianto replied clearly flustered, “that's not what I meant. I just. I mean. You spend a lot of time here and...”

Jack stopped his rambling with a kiss. “Ianto Jones, are you asking me to move in with you?” 

“Well, I'm, just, well,” Ianto was stuttering a little, just like the first time Jack had asked him out on a date. “Would you, maybe, be interested in that?” 

Jack didn't really know how to answer. He had never thought about it. Living with someone, settling down. He had tried in the past and it had always ended in tears, heartbreak and people throwing dishes at him. 

But Ianto was different. He understood what Jack was. He didn't need to hide from him. They had been together for years now, and they were happy. Still, it was a big risk. 

“I don't usually do that,” he finally answered, “not any more.”

Ianto could read the sadness in Jack's voice. He felt like an idiot. He wasn't planning on making this stupid declaration. It had just happened and now he didn't know how to take it back. 

“You don't have to. I'm sorry I said it. Just forget it.”

Jack pulled him close and kissed his forehead tenderly. “It's ok.”

They were silent for a while, Ianto pretending to read his book while Jack collected his notes from the floor. 

But Ianto was feeling restless. The idea of moving in with Jack was suddenly becoming more real to him. 

“We spend a lot of time together. Here. ”

“Is that a problem?” Jack asked, confused. 

“We would both be more comfortable in a bigger place,” Ianto continued, as if he was thinking out loud, “We could...sorry, I could get a little garden, and maybe get a little office to do some work from here. And a bigger bedroom. I definitely want a bigger bedroom.” 

“Now, that I'd like to share with you,” Jack replied as he climbed back on the bad, only half joking. 

“And you don't really have a house.” 

“I have the hub.”

“That is definitely not a house.” 

“You're right. It's so much cooler than that,” Jack said with a grin.

Ianto gave him an annoyed look before turning his back at him and pretending to go to sleep. “Well, it doesn't matter. I didn't even actually ask you, so. Never mind.” He knew he sounded like a child, but for a moment he had really believed in that little dream.

Jack laid down next to him and started touching him him in very inappropriate places. Ianto's breath started to fasten. 

“Ianto?” 

“What?” He said, his voice barely coming out as he melted under Jack's touch.

“My answer is yes.” 

Ianto turned his head toward him so fast he probably pulled a muscle or two, causing Jack to stop what he was doing. 

“What did you just say?

“Yes. I'll move in with you,” he whispered in his ear. 

Ianto smiled the brightest smile Jack had ever seen, and he knew he had made the right choice. 

“You really mean it?” Ianto's voice trembled a little. 

Jack touched Ianto's cheek, “I do.”

Ianto kissed him passionately and rolled on top of him. “I love you, Jack.”

“I love you too, Ianto.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks as always for reading! 
> 
> Next time we are gonna visit London in 2049!


	3. London, 2049

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We move forward to 2049 and a red door. Just three steps separates Jack from breaking a promise he made a long time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am with chapter three! I don't feel like this story is being a big success, but I'm gonna keep going anyway, cause I worked very hard on it and I care about it a lot.   
> I hope there is someone out there who is enjoying reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you, as always!

London 2049

The house had a red door. 

Jack needed exactly three steps to get to it. Three steps. Nothing hard about that. Still, his feet refused to move. 

More than a decade ago, he made a promise. Now he was about to break it.

He didn't have a plan. He didn't know what he was going to say. He just wanted to see him. He needed to see him. Just one last time. 

He took a deep breath and finally moved.

First step. 

He was Jack Harkness, he had faced death, pain, destruction. He was not going to be scared of a fucking door. 

Step two.

Step three. 

There he was. His heart was pounding as he raised his hand to knock. He stopped halfway. 

He saw her through the window. A woman, sitting on a armchair, reading a book. She was in her sixties, classy, elegant. She must have been a real beauty when she was younger. 

He must have come to the wrong house. He must have made a mistake. He should have just turn around and got back to Cardiff. That had been a crazy idea anyway. 

But then he saw him. 

For a man in his late sixties, he was still looking handsome, and he was just as elegant as ever, even in his own house. His hair was now grey, and there were wrinkles around his eyes, but Jack could have still recognized him everywhere. 

Jack's hands were shaking. The greatest love of his eternal life was standing there, a few feet from him, and he didn't know what to do. He kept looking through that window, like a voyeur, into the life of the man he had loved. 

He saw him handing a cup of coffee to the woman. Old habits die hard, Jack thought with a little smile. Then he gently kissed her forehead and sat next to her. That's when Jack saw a golden ring on Ianto's finger. It was as if a knife was passing through his heart. Ianto was married. He had move on. 

The little package he was holding fell on the floor as he turned his back to the house and run away, feeling lost and broken all over again. Just like that day. 

 

“What's wrong, Ianto?” Sally asked him with a worried look as he ran as best as he could toward the window, “you look as if you've seen a ghost!”

He had seen a ghost. A memory from the past. He was still exactly the same, young, strong, beautiful. All the things Ianto wasn't any more. 

Maybe it was just a trick of his old mind. Sometimes, when he was half asleep, he could still feel him next to him, he could still hear his laugh. 

He opened the front door, not sure about what he expected to find. What he wanted to find. Some kind of answer, some kind of sign maybe. 

He saw the little package. It was wrapped and even had a ribbon on it, but there was no note. The moment he opened it his leg started shacking and he had to sit down on the concrete step. He wasn't sure his old heart could handle the pain he was feeling right now. 

It was a memory from a time when he was younger, an object they didn't make any more. It was a Velvet Underground CD. 

He started crying, heavy sobs that wrecked his chest. Sally sat next to him. 

“Honey, what happened?”

“He was here. Jack was here.” Ianto put his head on her shoulder and kept sobbing. Sally didn't say a word. She just held him and rocked him until he stopped crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time we're going back to Cardiff in 2009 to find out what the CD means.


	4. Cardiff, 2009

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Linger on your pale blue eyes"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hy guys! Thanks for still being around!
> 
> I'm sorry about how short this chapter is. I promise, the next is gonna be a big one...

Cardiff 2009

Under the white sheets, in Jack's arms. The only place where everything made sense. There was no confusion, no pain, no fear. Not there. Not any more. 

The feeling of Jack's weight on top of him. Looking into his eyes, losing himself in them. 

“Look at me,” Jack whispered when Ianto closed his eyes. “Look at me.” 

A song was filling the air as their bodies moved together. Pale Blue Eyes. 

“I love you, Ianto.” Not much more than a whisper. As if he was scared that he could break something. 

The moment the words were spoken, he looked away, scared, vulnerable, open. 

It wasn't easy for him to love someone. It was even harder to say it out loud. 

Ianto knew all that. He knew how much work Jack had to do to open up to him, slowly, day after day. He knew how much those words meant for him. For them. 

He touched Jack's face. He wanted him to know it was ok. Everything was going to be ok. “Look at me, Jack.” 

Eyes locked again.   
A second that changed everything between them. 

“I love you too.”

There was nothing more to say. Ianto just kissed him, love flowing like electricity between them. 

The song kept playing, now forever intertwined with the memory of that moment. It was a song of heartbreak and impossible love, but Ianto never believed in bad signs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: We take a peak at 2033 and finally find out about Jack's promise. Get ready for some angst!


	5. Cardiff, 2033

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the right choice is the hardest one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! As I promised, this is a big chapter. It's the central piece of the story, where we finally find out what happened between Jack and Ianto.   
> But this is not the end of my stories, there's still a lot of ground to cover!

Cardiff, 2033

“I can't do this any more, Jack!” 

His suitcase was on their bed and he was stuffing his clothes in it, feeling like a complete cliché. He hated himself. He hated Jack. He hated that whole damn situation. He had been so stupid. 

Jack was just standing there, on the other side of the room, a confused, scared expression on his face. “Ianto, would you stop with the clothes for a second and talk to me?” 

Ianto didn't stop. He didn't trust himself. All it would take would be one look from Jack and all his strength, all his resolution was going to disappear. Jack was his weakness. He had always been.

“I'm sorry, Jack,” his hands trembled as he tried to fold a shirt, “I can't stop. I have to go. There's just no other way.”

Jack moved closer. Their bed was standing between them. The same bed they shared for over two decades. He uttered one simple question. “Why?”

Ianto didn't know such a small word could be filled with so much pain. His heart broke. This was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He finally looked at Jack. He owed him at least that. When their eyes locked, Ianto felt the tears burning in his eyes. 

“Jack, I'm 50. I've got white hair. My back hurts when I get home from work. I'm getting old.”

“So? I don't care.” Jack was painfully honest. It made things even worse. 

“But I care, Jack. How can you not understand?” Ianto raised his voice in frustration. His head was pounding, hist heart was breaking. He thought he was going to die. “I'm getting old. You're not. This is not going to work for much longer, you know that.”

“Ianto,” Jack tried to reach him, to touch him, to hold on to something, but Ianto moved away. Jack stood still for a moment, his hand still up. “Please.”

“I don't want you to see me grow old and die. I don't want you having to take care of me. I don't want to go to dinner with you and having people think I'm your father. Or your grandfather. I can't do it, Jack. I can't.” 

There was one tear on Jack's face. One single tear. He didn't wipe it off. Ianto kept talking, needing him to understand why he was doing this. “It wouldn't be fair to me or to you. What happens when just the idea of touching me will disgust you?”

Jack didn't answer. He just looked away. Ianto was grateful he wasn't going to pretend. To lie. 

“We'll be facing nothing but misery. I'm saving us all that, Jack. And it's killing me, believe me. You know how much I love you. You've always known that.”

“Then don't leave me!” Ianto had never seen Jack so powerless, so weak, so scared. Every cell of his body was itching to touch him, to hold him, to make him feel better, but he couldn't. 

“When we bought this house, Ianto said, closing his suitcase, “I thought I was gonna die young. Everybody in Torchwood dies young. I wanted to make the best of the few years we had. I never considered the idea that I was gonna grow old. What we did, all this?” he gestured to their bedroom, their pictures on the bedside tables, their clothes mixed together on their closet, “this was a fantasy. Building a life together. It was a lie. There's nothing in this bloody world I want more than be with you forever. But there can be no forever for us. For me. It's time for you to move on.”

“You don't get to do this to me,” Jack said, suddenly angry, “you made me fall in love with you. You made me build a home. You gave me something I never thought I could have. You don't get to just take it all away from me!”

Ianto moved toward Jack. He finally felt strong enough to touch him. He placed an hand on his beautiful, young face. A face that was exactly the same as the night he'd met him. “I never believed you would love me, Jack. Back when we started sleeping together. I thought I was always gonna be just a fun distraction to you.”

“I've always loved you, Ianto. You know that.”

Ianto pressed his forehead against Jack's. Their tears mixed together. “Maybe it would have been easier if you hadn't.” Ianto kissed him. One last kiss that burned their souls. It was passionate, hungry, heartbreaking. Ianto was the one who pulled off. 

He took his suitcase and left the bedroom, with one final look at the place where he had been the happiest in his life. He walk toward the front door, Jack following him just a few steps behind. He turned to Jack one final time. 

“Jack, I need you to promise me something. Promise me you won't look for me. Please.”

Jack's face was now pure stone. “I promise.”

“And please, don't forget me.”

“Never could,” he whispered to an already closed door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: 
> 
> After all this heartbreak, we go back to 2011 for a little bit of much needed fluff...


	6. Cardiff, 2011

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack, Ianto, boxes and and empty living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the delay but I've been very busy lately! This chapter is a short one, but as promised I'm gonna give you a bit of fluff after last time's heartbreak!

Cardiff, 2011

“We need to decide, Jack!” Ianto called from inside, the frustration clear in his voice. 

Jack walked inside holding two huge boxes. It felt like his billionth trip from the SUV to the house in the last two hours. The reason why Ianto needed so much stuff was puzzling to him. He closed the door behind him with his foot. 

“You know,” he put the boxes on the floor with a sight, “you're the worst helper in the universe. I've met Slinthaxs that were more helpful than you. And they have no arms.” 

“Jack, I'm serious.” Ianto completely ignored Jack's remarks. He was completely focused on the empty living room in front of him. “I need your opinion.”

“Ianto, I really couldn't care less about what colour the couch should be.” 

“I just don't want to be the one making all the decisions!” Ianto's voice was way higher than usual.

Jack knew he didn't care about the couch either. Not really. He was just nervous about the move, and instead of admitting that, he was obsessing over all the smallest details. 

Luckely, Jack knew how to handle him when he was like that. He closed the distance between them and put his arms around Ianto's waist, kissing him on the cheek. “All I want is a strong enough couch to handle our...activities.”

Ianto laughed and turned in his arms, finally relaxing a bit. “I'm not sure such couch could ever exist.”

“Then I suggest we buy a cheap one, cause it's probably not gonna last long.” While saying this, Jack started taking Ianto's Jacket off, kissing his neck in the process.

“Jack,” Ianto moaned softly, trying unsuccessfully to resist, “you promised to help build my bookshelves.”

“Later,” Jack replied in a hoarse voice, making the shirt slide down Ianto's shoulder and drop on the floor, his hands moving fast to work on his pants. “I just moved all your stuff in,” he said, kneeling down, “now I deserve a reward.”

The first time they had sex in their own home it was on the living room floor, surrounded by cardboard boxes full of hopes and a single, lonely armchair. 

“I can't believe we bought a house,” Ianto said after, looking at the ceiling, holding Jack.

“I can't believe you domesticated me,” Jack kissed Ianto's cheek tenderly, “you handsome bastard!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: Jack deals with Ianto leaving. We get more heartbreak.


	7. Cardiff, 2034

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack deals with the break up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, here I am again! Please let me know if you think this story is going on too long. I'm afraid I'm dragging things a little bit. (Actually there are only three or four chapters left after this one, so don't worry, I'm getting to the point lol)  
> As always, thanks for still be reading this, I'm truly grateful to every single one of you!

Cardiff, 2034

Jack sold the house and moved back to the hub. Well, tecnically, Gwen sold the house. She took care of everything. He couldn't bare to do that on his own. 

He didn't even remembered phoning Gwen that night. It must have been about two hours after Ianto left. She found him in the hallway, sitting on the floor, back against the wall. She sat next to him, scared to death. She had never seen Jack helpless like that. “Jack, what happened?”   
He didn't even look at her. He just said two words, with an icy cold tone that broke Gwen's heart: “Ianto left.”  
Gwen hold Jack's hand and they just stay there, in complete silence. 

And just like that the house was gone. The house he had spent two decades in with the man he loved. All he had left was a cardboard box with a note stuck on it. 

'I know you told me to throw everything out, but I figured you might want these. Love, Gwen.”

That was all he had left of Ianto. A box of stupid things. Fragments of a lifetime.   
A picture of the two of them looking at each other, caught in a moment of intimacy by someone. A picture of Ianto holding baby Anwen on her first birthday party. The post-its Ianto used to hang around the house to remind him things. The same ones Jack used to stick on the bathroom mirror with suggestions of all the ways they could have fun. And a CD. That song. 

He threw everything away. Everything except the CD and a picture of Ianto, asleep in their bed. He had took that just to piss him off one morning a long, long time ago. He was so gorgeous and young. If only he could have stop time. Freeze it. He would have lived in that exact moment forever. 

He had been so stupid. He should have never let this happen. He should have never fall in love. He should have never made himself so vulnerable. He had had so many lovers over the years, why did thing had to be different with Ianto?

The answer wasn't that hard. Because he loved him. Because he would always love him. And there was no escaping that. 

Six months had passed since he last saw him. He had gone from one bed to the other, back to his life of meaningless sex, trying to find comfort in the arms of strangers. But every body he touched, every lip he kissed, it just weren't Ianto's. He missed him every second. 

He wondered every day where he was, how he was doing without him, without Torchwood, without Cardiff. He didn't worry about him though. If there was one thing Ianto Jones was really good at, was taking care of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEX TIME: In 2013, Ianto celebrates a birthday and him and Jack have a talk.


	8. Cardiff 3013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto celebrates a birthday and Jack has some doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! I'm so sorry this update took forever. My life has been crazy lately. But I promised I was gonna complete this fic and I'm gonna keep my promise. I just need a little bit of time.   
> I hope you guys are still willing to read this silly little story. This chapeter is a bit of fluff after the heartbreak and it's also a glimpse into the first troubles in Jack and Ianto's relationship.   
> I feel like this is not my best chapter, so I would love your feedback, good or bad! Ok, now I'll just shut up and let you read!

Cardiff, 2013

The birthday party had been a complete disaster. The birthday boy had to leave after ten minutes to chase a Weevil around the bay, and that sort of ruined the mood.

“I told you I didn't want to celebrate,” Ianto said with a sight. It was midnight, and the house was finally empty. Ianto and Jack where alone, sharing a slice of birthday cake over the kitchen table, surrounded by empty glasses and discharged napkins.

“This cake is delicious though,” Jack said, his mouth full.

“It is,” Ianto agreed, “so next year, let's skip the party and go directly for the cake, ok?

“Trust me, I can do without your brother in-law,” Jack said with a eye roll. 

“Oh, me too. Seriously though, why did you do all this?” Ianto asked, gesturing at the decorations and balloons all over their house. 

“Gwen did. She took charge of everything. She even send you inspecting that old house all day.” 

“I knew there was nothing going on there!” Ianto said, faking outrage. 

“Anyway,” Jack continued, “I just had the idea. You turning 30 deserved celebration, right?”

“Did it, really?” Ianto ask, unconvinced. 

“Come on, I was just trying to be a good boyfriend. Don't boyfriend do these things, usually?” 

Ianto smiled at him. He could be so cute sometime. He leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you.”

There was a moment of comfortable silence. Ianto kept glancing at Jack and wondering how he had got so lucky to be there with such an incredible man, when just a few years before it had seemed impossible to him. 

“What?” Jack asked, catching him staring.

“Nothing,” Ianto replied, avoiding his eyes, “I was just thinking this is really not how I expected celebrating my 30th birthday just a few years back.”

A strange expression passed through Jack's face for a second. “Ianto, are you sure this is what you want?”

“What do you mean?” Ianto was clearly confused by the shift in Jack's tone.

“This. Us. Are you sure this is the life you want?” Jack's voice broke a little bit. It was very subtle, but Ianto had learnt to pick up those kind of signs. “Don't you want to meet someone, get married, have kids? Don't you want a normal life?”

“I work for Torchwood, Jack. I gave up normal a long time ago.” 

“I know, but...” he paused. Clearly every word he was saying was hurting him. “You could still have a life. You could marry a normal person. You could have it all. Like Gwen. You could have a family, a normal relationship. You know you can't have any of this with me. All you get is me, and I'm a mess. I can't be normal. So if you stay with me, you can't either.”

As strange as it was, they had never had this talk before. Ianto always knew what being with Jack meant. He also knew it was all worth it. 

He reached out across the table and grabbed Jack's hand. “Jack, I wouldn't change this for the world.” He saw Jack smile recognizing the same thing he had told him a long time ago, when Ianto asked him if he would go back to his own time. “From the moment I met you, all I wanted was to be with you. I thought it was impossible. I thought I was an idiot for feeling they way I felt about you. And look at us now. I love you Jack. I don't care about anything else.”

“Are you sure?” Jack asked, still feeling a pang of guilt, wondering if he was holding him back from having what he truly deserved.

“I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I don't want a wife. I don't want kids. I want you. If there's something I learned in this line of work, is that life is short. Or at least, mine is. And I decided a long long time ago I was going to spend it next to you,” he kissed Jack's hand before adding with a smile, “whatever you wanted me or not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: We find out how Ianto ended up married! We only have one chapter before our epilogue.


	9. London 2040

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto meets someone who shares his lonliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! I'm so sorry for the delay, but my life has been very busy. Now that summer is coming though, I'm gonna have a little bit more free time so I promise you I will finish this story in the next couple of weeks. Just one chapter left after this!

LONDON 2040

Standing there in his tuxedo, waiting for his bride to walk in, all Ianto wanted to do was laugh. Laugh at how ridiculous all this was. He was 57 and he was about to get married to someone he didn't even love. At least not like that. 

Life had been nothing but strange for him. 

He had met Sally three years before, when he had decided to join a book club. He just couldn't stand the constant loneliness any more. 

Leaving Cardiff, he didn't just left Jack behind, but his entire life, his job, everything he knew. It felt like going back to civilian life after being in a war. The thing he had seen, the thing he had done, the thing he knew, no one could really understand that. No one could ever even know. 

It was the loneliest he had ever been. So he joined the book club. He figured he would at least get some good reads out of it, even if he was sceptical about meeting new people. He wasn't exactly the socializing type. 

Then he saw her. 

Sitting in that uncomfortable chair, a tired smile, eyes wandering around. He immediately recognized the same loneliness he was feeling. Maybe that's what pushed him to sit next to her that day. 

“Are you knew?” she asked when he sat down. 

“Yes, I, ehm, I just moved here.” Talking to someone after months of silence felt strange to him. 

“Welcome to London then. I'm Sally Blackwood.” She smiled, and this time it was a warm, real smile. Ianto smiled too. He had almost forgotten how nice that felt. 

“I'm Jones. Ianto Jones.”

They hit it off immediately. Sally was a great woman. She was very stubborn and opinionated, but she was also very sarcastic and witty. Her and Ianto shared the same sense of humour. They became really good friends. Actually, she was the only friend Ianto had in London. The only friend he met after Torchwood. 

They started going out for coffee every week after the readings. During a rainy June evening, while they shared a slice of chocolate cake, she told him her story. 

“When I was 22, I was engaged to a man named Robert. He was the most handsome, amazing man I've ever met in my life. I wasn't that bad looking either, if I might say so. We were the golden couple of our little town.” Her voice was trembling slightly and Ianto could feel the pain behind her attempts to sound light-hearted. 

“We knew each other since we were kids and we had always been inseparable. We use to go to the lake with our bikes and try to catch fishes. He was terrible at that. He asked me to marry him by that same lake, one summer night. I didn't even need to think about the answers. I'd been in love with him since I was six years old.”

She stopped, a tear falling on the table. Ianto took her hand and squeeze it slightly. 

“I was happy. I was in love. But two weeks before the wedding I got a phone call from Robert's mum. There had been an accident. A drunk driver hit him while he was biking home from work. He died. It's been 34 years and I still miss him like the first day. I never loved anyone else.” 

Getting married was all her idea. A few weeks after she opened up her heart to him, they were sitting at that same table, drinking in silence. Suddenly, she put her cup down and look Ianto straight in the eyes: “I have an idea. We should get married.”

Ianto almost chocked on his coffee: “What?”

“Look...we're both miserable and pathetic. What's wrong about keeping each other a bit of company instead of dying alone?” 

If he had to be honest, he thought that wasn't such a bad idea. He wouldn't have minded spending his final years with such a great friend. 

So now there he was, ready to commit to her just for the sake of not being alone any more. He wondered what Jack would think if he could see him right now. He wondered if he would care. Probably not. He must have been so used to move on from lost lovers, all they shared was probably nothing but a distant memory to him. Just a blip in time. A fragment in his never ending lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time, my little story finally ends...


	10. Epilogue - London, 2070

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story goes full circle, as we go back to the hospital where everything started.

London, 2077

When he opened his eyes, Ianto wasn't surprised. What he felt was more like a sense of closure. Of ending. Now he finally was at peace. 

“I was waiting for you,” he said, a painful pause to breathe between every word. 

Jack squeezed his hand even harder. “Really?” he asked, tears in his eyes. 

“Yeah. I knew you were going to break your promise.” Or, at least, he hoped so. Jack looked exactly the same as the last time he saw him. Only his eyes were older. “You still have your coat.”

Jack smiled, “I could never throw it away.”

They looked at each other for a moment, decades of unsaid things and heartbreak passing between them. 

“I'm sorry,” Jack finally said in a whisper.

“About what?” 

“I don't even know. About breaking my promise. About everything.” Jack placed his hand on Ianto's face. He was surprised at how soft it still felt under his fingertips. He was still his Ianto, nothing could change that.

Ianto closed his eyes and sighted, his breathing getting slower. “I'm happy you're here. I couldn't go without seeing you again. I've missed you.”

“I've missed you too. I've missed you every day.” 

“I don't believe you. I bet you've had thousand of lovers that were way more fun then me.” Yes, he was still his Ianto. Still a sarcastic ass. 

“Trust me on this, no one could be more fun than you, Ianto Jones.” 

They didn't say anything else, they just kept holding hands, looking at each others. Words didn't mean anything. Not in a moment like this. 

Ianto fell asleep after a few moments. Jack could tell it was close. He had seen it happen again and again, but it still hurt. He never got used to it.   
He wanted to scream at how unjust it all was, how it wasn't fair that Ianto had to get old and die and leave him behind, again. 

He stood there four two hours, never leaving Ianto's side, never letting go of his hand. 

“Jack?” Ianto called out when he woke up again, his voice scared and full of pain.

“I'm right here.” Jack touched Ianto's old, wrinkled face. 

“I just had a beautiful dream. I was young again, and we were in hour house. There was our old couch. Do you remember it?”

“Of course I do.” Jack was smiling through the tears.

“We were just sitting there. It was so peaceful. For a moment I thought that must be what heaven looks like. Our home. And you. I'd like that.”

“I'd like that too.”

“Jack, I'm scared.” Ianto's voice broke, and it wasn't just from the pain. 

“Don't be. It's not going hurt, it's going to be like falling asleep.” 

“I...” he couldn't finish the sentence cause a fit of cough stopped him. 

“Don't talk. Save your breath.”

“I love you. I've always had.” His voice was so low he was barely audible. 

Jack kissed his forehead, like he used to do when he was barely more than a kid. “I love you, Ianto. I'll never forget you.”

Ianto felt Jack's tears on his own skin. He gave him a little nod before falling asleep again. 

He never woke up. 

Ianto Jones died at 4 am on a Tuesday morning, at the age of 87. Jack Harkness held his hand until his last breath, then walked away from the hospital into the cold morning air, leaving behind the ghost of a life he foolishly dreamed he could have had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, at the end of the journey.   
> I'm a bit emotional right now, because this story meant a lot to me and it took a lot of work and patience.   
> I want to thank every single person who took the time to read this, everyone who read one chapter, everyone who read the whole thing.   
> I want to tank everyone who followed this story for almost a year, never giving up on me even when it took me forever to update.   
> And thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a review or a kudos. You were the reason why this story is complete.   
> I hope I didn't disappoint you, and I hope to see you again if I ever start a new project.   
> THANK YOU.

**Author's Note:**

> NEXT TIME: Cardiff, 2011. Ianto is tired of his old apartment.


End file.
